Friday, June 26, 2009

cryin inside

salam. let me go straight to my point.

im not sure is it me who writin diz entry or another person inside me. im not sure whether now aku ni Suwaibah atau adibahrisha. *confused. macam kes jacob n warewolf.

entah la kenapa semenjak dua menjak ni. aku lain betul. mood aku sentiasa berubah, oh tuhan ini hormone punye kerja ke ape entah. binggung aku dibuatnya. sedih betul. serious! macam tengah berperang. hati aku kacau! jiwa dan minda aku serabut.

aku hilang punca. memandang blog macam tiada perasaan. entah kemana sayang 'menulis' ni hilang. 'Idea' entah bercuti kemana. 'kata' hilang tak de tanda. 'gurau' ku kaku kekok kelu. can some one show me guide me or gimme back my life.. i need 'me'! exactly 'me' like few month before. i need myself. bukan diriku yang kini. aku mahu yang haritu punya.

korang ada jumpa kat mana2? bagi ah balik diri aku yang dulu, aku tak nk jadi macam ni. moody sad all the way. aku nak diri aku yang pandai buat lawak tu. aku nak gelak. i feel bad kalau aku macam ni. sad sad moody moody takde perasaan . sensitif, tak sensitif.

aku takut btol. takut dengan keadaan mcm ni. korang bglah idea mcm mana aku nk cope dgn probe macam ni. plz pepol tell me wat shod i do.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

College Traffic news



Hey pepol. oh well aku tak tau la ape kne nye dengan aku malam ni. kerjanya nak marah aje!!! eee...geram! aku geram dengan semua perkara disekeliling aku hari ni!


pertama sekali dan yang paling Top Meletup! dalam kolej aku Jammed!! hey pepol, aku tak pernah lagi dengar ade kolej jammed. kat luar kolej jammed aku tak kisah. ni dalam kolej!!! Oh my God!



Pagi2 seawal 8 pagi. jalan ke kolej aku jammed!





sejak sebulan lepas, kolej aku jammed selepas kemasukan junior. aku tak tau la banyak sangat student loaded ke atau ape. memang kereta berlambak. kat blakang kolej sampai takde parking kosong dah. all full! kawasan TUNDA, pun dorang parking keta dorang.


ALASAN? NO parking! Luar Depan kolej. Oh tuhan, memang! kiri kanan jalan penuh kereta. Dari sebesar-besar MERc, BMW, Mazda, Pajero, CRV, honda hingga la ke kancil...tu kes tak de sticker laa... so memang totally tak leh masuk dlm kolej.





bile masuk dalam kolej...ni lagi satu kes..bikin panas je, jammed! nak masuk kolej je jammed. memang harapan laa nk dapat parking! Tempat Parking yang seluas 2 kali besar padang bola sepak FULL! Parking 3 kali besar padang bola, FULL!





parking in front of Library! Damn, FULL! so where else? ah parking belakang..OPsss..no student vehicle are allowed to enter! tak payah cakap. Pun FULL dengan kereta STAFF!


So kini tinggal kiri dan kanan jalan kolej yang jadi mangsa. Tempat yang tulis NO PARKING, jadi sasaran Parking. hahaha kelakar je bile semua kereta tu dpt surat cinta KAler pink dari Mak guard dan kereta mereka di RANTAI. hahaha kuang kuang kuang.



semester kali ni, memang banyak kereta dapat sticker. Yang peliknye, da tau parking LOt tak cukup kenapa la mereka kluar kan sticker banyak sangat? susah tau nak cari parking.

setiap petang nak balik pun jammed jugak. tadi bape minit tah aku amik untuk kluar dari kolej. padahal tak lah jauh mane parking lot dengan main entrance. Kim cakap, aku jalan kaki lebih laju dari naik kereta. ahaha

sabar je laaa....








itu sahaja berita traffic pada malam ini,

berita disampaikan oleh saya.


salam.


Adios amigos

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

forgot how to chill.

dear pepol. sori da lame aku tak update blog ni. hari-hari ada je benda aku nak tulis kat sini but, i dont have enough time to do so..never mind.actually nothing more to say bout me.my life...pepol surround me, sometimes timbul, sometimes tenggelam...ade yang hilang, muncul kembali..ada yang hilang, hilang terus....so dats about them and i dont want to huhahuha about them too much.
Yes! i do hurt a lot kebelakangan ni. got lot of asgment,coursework,presentation, which i hate it so much. im so busy yet i don have enough time to rest, class very pack, i don even have break time....i mean dont have enough breaktime to take lunch and breakfast.
i do have back problem, terseliuh when i was in my holiday, 2weeks ago. and its sooo saket, i cant bend my pinggang, and some more i go to gym angkat berat, lagy bertambah saket tulang blakang aku.
And and my gum is swollen, mom said i didnt take lot of water, so badan aku kekurangan air, dats why ia bengkak. Actually my gigi want to tumbuh dats why bengkak.but, i didnt tell my mom about my new gigi...afraid she ask me to go to see dEntist. whoaaa...
what else can i tell here eh....erm about ... about ... ahhh...2 days ago someone ask me about am i single?? hahaha hey pepol, yes i do enjoy my single time...Actually not yet find someone special or maybe i don have time to find new one. korang carikan la eh...
ok STOP...stop...STOP!!!
 
back to this entry title. "Forgot how to Chill." yeah, i think so, i forgot how to chill out. mybe sebab aku busy sangat, aku macam lupa untuk bergurau..no more Piranha Spa, Rabun derian, Kambeng laut, [p/s: some people know laaa how i behave before this]
hurm i hate when i forgot how to smile, i hate i forgot how to chill people. Aku macam kehilangan sesuatu. Inspiration maybe. hilang inspirasi untuk bergembira. hidup aku macam kosong. Nonono not exactly empty but theres something wrong somewhere about my mood. Yang pastinya aku benci keadaan dimana aku sangat moody, muka ketat, tak senyum, tak buat lawak. i hate it so much u know...
i pray to God, please give me back my happiness. i need it. beg for it.. Amin.
oklah pepol i tink dats all for today. sebenarnya masih ade ayat2 didalam hati dan jiwa aku untuk aku luahkan kat sini. cuma aku rase its not the right time yet i might regret it. Yes it hurt, when something dat i really want to luahkan to someone, but i cant. i cant do so. i don have any strength... Nonono i really dont know how to write what i feel. its really hurt!
salam.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Only One.

Awal pagi tu lebih kurang pukul 3 pagi hari sabtu or jumaat im not really sure. aku masih dihadapan Computer, Chatting, Readin my follower entry, and listen to Rossa song.

Aku tak tau apa masalahnya aku memang mengantok sangat cuma aku memang sayang nak tinggalkan keyboard aku. jadi aku masih on9.

'ah esokkan masih cuti. tak salah on9 dengan kawan2.' detik hati aku.

Tiba-Tiba aku rasa macam ade perasaan yang meronta-ronta. tangan aku pantas menggenggam mouse dan aku click ke myspace seseorang. dia mungkin tak tau, tapi aku adalah pengunjung setia myspace-nya yang jarang sekali di update oleh dia.

"kawannya bertambah lagi 1." kata aku perlahan. dahi ku berkerut. seperti yang aku ckapkan tadi, aku sentiasa tahu perkembangan myspacenya.

aku ingin view new frend dia. tapi tiba-tiba mataku terpandang satu perkataan. yang membuat aku terkedu. Aku bukan la kecewa tapi aku.... hmmmm...
'huh.' hanya lah satu keluhan berat. aku cuba bernafas. payah sungguh.
ini bukan lah tamparan hebat bagi aku. aku hanya tidak tahu, apakah ia. sangat asing perasaan tu. Freak. Weird. aku tak pernah rasa macam ni kot.

status: in a relationship.

Whoaaa....hahahha no komen..no komen....aku da speechless da skang ni. aku ingat aku mampu ceritakan kisah seterusnya, tapi aku tak kuat kot. aku rasa baik la jadi rahsia je, aku blurr. really blur. aku nak cerita cite ni dengan lebih lanjut lagi, but no one, no One can understand.

Its hurt. i didnt feel anything. but diz time seem very hard for me. i feel empty.




  • Only One by yellow card.


    Broken this fragile thing now
    And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
    And I've thrown my words all around
    But I can't, I can't give you a reason

    I feel so broken up (so broken up)
    And I give up (I give up)
    I just want to tell you so you know
    Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
    You are my only one
    I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
    You are my only, my only one

    Made my mistakes, let you down
    And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
    Ran my whole life in the ground
    And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

    And something's breaking up (breaking up)
    I feel like giving up (like giving up)
    I won't walk out until you know

    Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
    You are my only one
    I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
    You are my only, my only one

    Here I go so dishonestly
    Leave a note for you my only one
    And I know you can see right through me
    So let me go and you will find someone

    Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
    You are my only one
    I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
    You are my only, my only one
    My only one
    My only one
    My only one
    You are my only, my only one

itu je la. adios pepol.
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